inbox

[noburden]

video | audio | text | action

Comments

[noburden]

Jill looks at him before taking both his hands in hers.

"You are. You are both, and he could have no better. Nothing will make Joshua think any less of you in either role. You put too much pressure on yourself."

He always has, and look where it's gotten him.

[rosarianoath]

He lets her have his hands, gaze dropping.

“That may be,” he says. “But I never wanted him to know how broken I am.”

[noburden]

She knows. He says broken as if it's some fatal condition.

"Those that love you most are the ones that will help piece you back together," she says, digging deep to sound hopeful. Easier to do for him than for herself. She swallows down the lump of guilt in her throat because she hasn't been around to help put anyone back together, lately. "I know he would prefer you as you are, however broken you may think you are, so he can be there for you."

[rosarianoath]

It feels terminal. There is no unringing the bell of his existence, his terrible history, the ugliness of his past.

“I know,” he says. He doesn’t like it at all, but he knows it to be true. “It’s just the embarrassment, to be seen weakened.”

[noburden]

"You've hauled us onto our feet plenty without thinking less of us. You must let us do the same for you, and trust that we only feel glad to be given the opportunity to do so. To help you," she says, and she sounds more like herself to her own ears.

She holds his hands tighter.

[rosarianoath]

It would be so easy to sweep her off her feet and tuck her into bed and wrap himself around her until the despair passes, but there is distance to be maintained, and so he must hold fast to her hands and endure.

“I should trust in that,” he says. “Thank you, Jill. I promise to share more when I have the strength to.”

[noburden]

How desperately she wishes he would do just that. She wants to comfort him, and the words feel hollow without him in her arms.

"I believe in you, Clive. That won't change." She believes in his good heart, even if hurt and anger can cloud it.

[rosarianoath]

He nods, and gives her hands a squeeze.

“Thank you,” he says. A pause. “It’s late. You need rest, as do I. I’ll put your bike in the garage and we’ll see each other in the morning.”

[noburden]

She looks at him. She doesn't want him to go, but she's the one that sent him to the basement, this time. She runs her thumbs over his skin before letting go of his hands.

She has no right to go back and forth on a whim. It's unfair to him.

"Thank you for taking care of me," she tells him. "And... I look forward to our date."

Something to look forward to for the both of them, she hopes.

[rosarianoath]

As inviting as her bed seems, he knows it won’t be restful. The cool darkness waiting for him below the floors is far more appealing.

“Any time, Jill,” he says, softly. “I’ll let you know when and where.”