Jill squeezes him before pulling back enough to look at him. She promises herself that she will try to meet his eyes more often, to not look away when speaking.
"I love you. I don't think you're a monster, Clive." Worth to say clearly, to further soothe his heart. Her eyes drop to his lips before she leans up to press a brief, chaste kiss to them. She'll behave.
He’s glad it’s short, if only because it’s too tempting to leave conversation behind and settle into the simple comfort of touch. He sighs, forehead against hers, lingering close for just a second longer.
“Thank you,” he sighs. “I will sleep better tonight knowing that.”
It hurts to hear but he's right. Jill swallows and nods.
"I want peace between us more than anything," she says. "I want to be the person you trusted to be by your side through anything once more, like in Valisthea."
"I'd like that. Very much," she adds. She misses their time together, the little dates they began to have once they were on the mend. Strange to feel like they're starting from the beginning again.
"But we can all have dinner together tomorrow night."
"This month has been terrible, but he at least seems to be doing well, doesn't he?" She asks, hoping Clive doesn't know something she doesn't. She's spent some nights with him, keeping them both company. He's strong, even in the face of horrific revelations.
“He’s of sturdier spirit than body, certainly,” he says. He lets go of her hand gently, and crosses the room to get pajamas for her. “We talked that night, and he hasn’t expressed any anger with me since.”
“I know,” Clive says, pulling out a night dress for her, a touch of discomfort on his voice. “But I’m sure our trust is broken as well, or at least his in me.”
She turns it over to find the bottom, holding her breath as she pulls it on over her head. It makes her arm burn, but it's done and over with in a moment and a hard press of her lips together to keep quiet.
Jill looks at him before taking both his hands in hers.
"You are. You are both, and he could have no better. Nothing will make Joshua think any less of you in either role. You put too much pressure on yourself."
She knows. He says broken as if it's some fatal condition.
"Those that love you most are the ones that will help piece you back together," she says, digging deep to sound hopeful. Easier to do for him than for herself. She swallows down the lump of guilt in her throat because she hasn't been around to help put anyone back together, lately. "I know he would prefer you as you are, however broken you may think you are, so he can be there for you."
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"I love you, Jill," he says. "It made me sick to my heart to think you thought me as much of a monster as I feel I am..."
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"I love you. I don't think you're a monster, Clive." Worth to say clearly, to further soothe his heart. Her eyes drop to his lips before she leans up to press a brief, chaste kiss to them. She'll behave.
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“Thank you,” he sighs. “I will sleep better tonight knowing that.”
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"When do we know we're better?" She asks. Sleep came so much easier with him beside her.
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"I don't know if anyone has ever had that."
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“Well, then,” he says. “When we can imagine ourselves married and having babies and growing old together once more.”
But he still, he thinks, doesn’t want to be afraid.
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"Are you afraid I'll change my mind about that?" She asks, thumb brushing over his knuckles.
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"I want peace between us more than anything," she says. "I want to be the person you trusted to be by your side through anything once more, like in Valisthea."
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"But we can all have dinner together tomorrow night."
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“I’d like dinner together as well,” he says. “I know Joshua would appreciate it as well.”
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"This month has been terrible, but he at least seems to be doing well, doesn't he?" She asks, hoping Clive doesn't know something she doesn't. She's spent some nights with him, keeping them both company. He's strong, even in the face of horrific revelations.
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Joshua reacted better than she did.
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"He understands," she reassures. "From what he's said to me, I can say that with certainty."
Of all the bonds damaged that night, she thinks Joshua and Clive's suffered the least.
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“I believe you,” he says. “And him. But if he thinks me ill-prepared and fearful, he cannot trust me as his Shield.”
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"His concern is for his brother, not his Shield."
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"You are. You are both, and he could have no better. Nothing will make Joshua think any less of you in either role. You put too much pressure on yourself."
He always has, and look where it's gotten him.
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“That may be,” he says. “But I never wanted him to know how broken I am.”
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"Those that love you most are the ones that will help piece you back together," she says, digging deep to sound hopeful. Easier to do for him than for herself. She swallows down the lump of guilt in her throat because she hasn't been around to help put anyone back together, lately. "I know he would prefer you as you are, however broken you may think you are, so he can be there for you."
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“I know,” he says. He doesn’t like it at all, but he knows it to be true. “It’s just the embarrassment, to be seen weakened.”
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