[What a miserable thing to hear. She bites back the hurt, knowing it's more about his view of himself more than how he might think she sees him. Her reminder is gentle.]
Your heart is more important to me than your body. That is what I need most of all. Your body is not something for me to use when I have a need.
[The urge to kiss her is overwhelming, but there's so much work left to do before there can be distractions. He settles for breathing in deeply, feeling the soft squish of her body under his.]
I was fond of you from the first day. I used to dream about holding you like this just once before you were made a bride.
Perhaps if, in a few more years, we'd both manifested as Dominants...
[But Joshua would have her first, most likely. It's an odd thought; not one he's ever had before, and not one he wants to dwell on very long. He says nothing.]
[They both know she'd likely be wed to Joshua were that the case. Still, she can pretend well enough, imagine a world in which they could have been together from the start.]
Three Dominants under one banner. Imagine.
[Wed to Clive or Joshua, Rosaria would be sitting pretty.]
[His mind feels like an ugly place, and surprisingly, it does not feel lighter simply for having been asked to be. He stews on it for a moment, and then asks:]
I'd like to go to a bookstore and find something for us to read together.
[Not THAT bookstore, but somewhere they can find a new book to sink into together. She says it with the hope that he'll come spend the night with her more often.]
We can get dinner somewhere and come back here. How does that sound?
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Mm. But you’ll tell me if you need my body before then, will you? I do not want to make it harder on you than bearable.
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Your heart is more important to me than your body. That is what I need most of all. Your body is not something for me to use when I have a need.
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I’m sorry, Jill. I didn’t mean to suggest you would handle me carelessly…
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I only say it to be sure you know. If we never slept together again, I would still love you more than anything else in the world.
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I feel the same. But rest assured, the desire I feel for you is too great to live so chastely forever.
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I was hoping you'd say that. I miss having you, but I don't know if we would have our letters if we let ourselves get distracted.
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[Her, at least. She's happy to have him close, to hold and be held.]
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[He gives her another squeeze, and then relaxes a little.]
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[She's always loved him.]
I truly wish there was a way for you to understand how I see you. To see that you're enough.
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[He lays his head back down.]
Until that’s possible… I’ll simply have to learn for myself.
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[By talking, listening, or now reading--she resumes petting his hair, slowly ans affectionately.]
I would write it all down for you but I don't think enough ink exists, even here.
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I’d be too self conscious to read more than a page or two anyhow…
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Then perhaps I can keep it to one page for you.
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I hardly remember a time when you didn't occupy my heart.
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I was fond of you from the first day. I used to dream about holding you like this just once before you were made a bride.
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I always hoped I would suddenly learn that I was to be your bride. I wanted to be your lady, by your side.
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[But Joshua would have her first, most likely. It's an odd thought; not one he's ever had before, and not one he wants to dwell on very long. He says nothing.]
Maybe she would approve after all.
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Three Dominants under one banner. Imagine.
[Wed to Clive or Joshua, Rosaria would be sitting pretty.]
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[As disgusting as it is unsettling. He gives a little huff, tired.]
I do not care to think on it.
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[Surely he can think of a better fantasy.]
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What would you like to do on our next date?
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[Not THAT bookstore, but somewhere they can find a new book to sink into together. She says it with the hope that he'll come spend the night with her more often.]
We can get dinner somewhere and come back here. How does that sound?
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[He is already thinking about books. Joshua has him reading sci-fi. Maybe Jill would like that, too? It is far away from magic.]
On Thursday, perhaps? I won't go hunting.
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